whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

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How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

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Who is yellow and cant drive straight. A man dying of lukemia

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

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Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

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Q:Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? A:Because she had no arms.

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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What did the fish say to the human ? He didn't say anything fish can't speak.

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A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

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How many children does it take to kill a homocidal killer? None. Children should not attempt such a dangerous task.

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dad said he had to drop the kids off at the pool what does that mean mom? honey it means dad has to take a shit beacuase shit looks like retarded black kids with down sydrome

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Q. Dr.evil? JHHHHHHHHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

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what do you give a little girl with no arms no legs and who lives in a orfanidge for christmas?.................................... nothing because no parent wants a freak kid

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How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

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How do you keep a blond in suspense?

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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A lady walks into her bedroom and sees her boy friend having sex with another girl. She hears the phone ring and a voice says "your grandma died".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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