A Jewish man and a blonde were in a DIY store, the man buys a box of screws. The woman gets a phone call to find out her son is late for tennis training. She then hangs up the phone and leaves the DIY store with great hast.

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Why did the carpenter cry? Somebody killed his family.

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What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

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What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

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What did the plane say to the ground when they hit each other Boom

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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Sigh... I gotta go to night class studies okay?

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Robin, please, get in the Batmobile

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Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

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What did the boy do with his ice cream? He ate it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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sorry, that was a really bad joke, joking just joking, of course we can chat later, you got something in particular to do?

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Roses are blue Colton is gay

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hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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