Why is 6 afraid of 7 ? : Because 7 8 9

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the priest circumcised? He had a very painful urinary tract infection

thumb_up thumb_down -11

this kid named terry stockton thought it was funny to get someone in the ankle lace then the kid got up and pucnched him in the face so hard he had a seizure

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Ring around the rosy. A pocket full of posies. Ashes. Ashes. I just set a dead baby on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"What's your name?" "Josephine." "Josephine?" "No, Josephine." "That's what I said." "I know,"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:Howd the blind kid find his way home? A:He didnt, he got lost and died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than finding a worm in the apple you're eating? Many things could be worse than that, from the less severe e.g. Finding half a worm in the apple you're eating to the more severe, such as the total collapse of civilization.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Boy: Will you go out with me? Girl: No. Boy: Why? Girl: Because I don't want to.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops