How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

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What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

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Why did the mum scream at the boy? Because he was being stupid

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

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Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

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What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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A: my name is Joe and i like onion B: ok

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What do an airplane and a strawberry have in common? They can both fly.... Except for the strawberry

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What will your friend do after you kill him? Nothing, he is dead.

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A gay man watches football.

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Why wad six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sexual offender.

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Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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