What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats sad about a ton of blacks in a limo going off a cliff. they'll destroy the car

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make a little girl cry?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops