What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? AIDs then he got mugged on the way home from the hospital

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why does the world spin? Chuck Norris says so

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

i named my son Frodo because he was little

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how many black guys goes it take to screw inalightbulb? just one, but inalightbulb was feeling rather slutty today, so 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Me

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops