What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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how do you make Chuck Norris laugh? tell him an anti-joke.

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How do you make a tissue dance? You really can't, but you could grab it and shake it around so it looks like its dancing.

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Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

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I forgot what came after: Roses are Red Violets are Blue Too much anti jokes

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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How does Michael J. Fox mix his paint? He uses the paint mixing stick that is provided, for free, by most reputable hardware stores.

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What is the similarity between fake rings and your mother? They change colors in the shower

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1)Where do you find a turtle with no legs? 2)Where? 1)Where you left it. 1)... Knock Knock... 2)Who's there? 1)...Not the turtle...

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well I'll tell you. He was happily gliding down the sidewalk when he realized that his destination was across the road. He then proceeds to take In his surroundings . He finds that there is no indication telling him to stop so he then cautiously walks across the road watching for any dangerous movement. He safely makes it across and proceeds to his destination which is the slaughtering house. He is a retarded chicken

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

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What stars with C, is hairy on the outside, moist on the inside and ends with T and has UN in the middle? Coconut

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Where's the best place to gather black people to roleplay as prison victims for a documentary? Prison or the Graveyard.

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Q:where did the little kid go? A:wait, before or after i killed him

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Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

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whats worse than getting killed by a random tomahawk in COD mostly anything because COD is only a video game

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If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

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human centipede

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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