Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

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What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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whats small and sexually confused? YOu

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Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

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What did the man say while he was in surgery? Nothing, he was in surgery.

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Why did the car fall of the cliff? The dude driving the car was driving recklessly.

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A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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A chicken walked into the bar...

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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What? Why?

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XD Okay then, just a little and I am not very fond of it, I mean I tried something called tekken but that just made me nauseus. Then I got into some car racing game years ago, RidgeRacer I think, but when I moved the car to the sides, I kinda involuntarily tilted to the sides, and ended up smacking on the ground a couple of times.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

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Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops