What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do u make a black man cry? Kill his family!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the homeless man say to the rich man? Can i have some food?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's me, Jeremy. Oh, great to see you! Come inside. They then have a great time watching TV and eating snacks

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do u call something black and hanging from a tree.............................. a black guy

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

WE BE-ETH YON KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

thumb_up thumb_down +3

when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while because you have one tooth and its half chipped.. and your a black mexican red head.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get my ball back.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whiney the poo and the blustery day.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops