If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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Why did the black man have sex with the white woman? Because they were married.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartendor says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife was just diagnosed with cancer and given only a week to live."

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Where would you be unlikely to find a polar bear? In a courtroom.

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your mamma so fat... she went to hell.

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A blind man walks into a deaf woman. He tries to apologize but she can't hear him.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? well if 7 8 9 then what happened to the rest?

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What do you get when you mix a baby and chemical waste? A bad smoothie.

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Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

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Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a rapist.

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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why did jimmy's mom fall off the cliff? i dont know.

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Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

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NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

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i had sex.

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Did u know that 10/10 people die?

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops