What did the gay lifeguard tell the little boy at the pool? No running!

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

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How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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A family goes to a talent agency and performs an act. They call themselves the aristocrats

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why did the man take the bus to work he didnt have a liscence

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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Q: What do you get when you put a boy and a girl together in a locked room? A: Blood and gore.

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A ghost walks into a bar. Nobody sees it because it is a supernatural entity.

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Pikachu walked into a bar. "GO, SQUIRTLE!" the bartender screamed. An epic Pokémon battle ensued, after they got drunk. The end. Pika pi!

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What's the difference between a white guy playing basketball and a black guy playing hockey??? There is none..they hardly get playing time!!

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

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Dwight Howard

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a woman gets hit by a motorcycle whose fault was it?......... the man's, he shouldn't have driven the motorcycle in the kitchen

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Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

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a jewish man walks into a wall with an erection. what hits first? his erection

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How do you make a clown sad? Brutally murder his children.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? That depends on what his name is.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. The man apologizes, and the bra assures him not to worry. They both continue on their way. The man wonders what a bra is doing walking around unattached to a woman, especially this late at night.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is a chicken and is not intelligent enough to know that he is about to be hit by a bus while hopelessly searching for food under an elderly man's nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops