Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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There were three blondes hanging off a freezing cold helicopter. A burnette, a red head, and a blonde. The redhead's hands were getting cold so she let go so she could blow on them to keep them warm. She fell off the helicopter and down the cliff. A little later, the burnette did the same thing, i mean their hands were cold. But the blode then said " guys, your doing it wrong. You have to do it like this." She blew one hand at a time, " not like this: she showed them how they did it and fell off too.

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Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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There is a black man and a Mexican in a car. Who's driving? The driver.

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19 roosters walk into a roller coaster

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What is the deferince between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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Once their was an ugly barnacle. He was sooooo ugly that everyone died! The end. :D

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

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Why did a blond killed herself? She couldnt find a corner in a round room.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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why was the black mans shirt ripped? because he escaped genocide in africa

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So theres this Jew, right? He got shot to death.

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What shakes and twitches and can be found at the sea bottom? A scuba diver running out of oxygen.

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Why did the girl fall out of the tree? Because she had no arms

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Whats worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings Whats worse than 2 bee stings? A car crash Whats worse than a car crash? 3 bee stings

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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