The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ...get back in the kitchen, I'm hungry

A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

My Butthole.

So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

How do you call a cat for it's dinner? Come here cat!

Roses are yellow Daisies are purple Tv drinks yes Why swing the door

When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

How do you make a person laugh? Tell a good joke How do you make them cry? Tell a sad story How do you make them cry and laugh at the same time? Tell a bad joke

Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

yo mamas so poor she should probably consider finding a job

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

But who would want to sell us out and why?

roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

how many toyota's does it take to pee on a soccer game 900 because isis is a cat vagina

How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

what is red with 2 legs? half a cat

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

What did the muslim say when he boarded the plane? Where is my seat

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it got stuck at a red light, it waited 5 minutes before getting frustrated and leaving. Later that day the chicken realized that it had forgotten to press the button.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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