Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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What did the man say while he was in surgery? Nothing, he was in surgery.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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Why didn't Hitler like steak? He was a vegetarian.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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What do you put in a toaster? Bread, or sometimes a small penis.

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Penis

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dracula." "Dracula who?" He pulls his cape up to his face and says, "May the force be with you,"

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4 hours later.

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lays on it's back? A school bus after a traffic accident

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what did the boy with no arms get for christmas? A pair of robtic arms and now he has super stregth so he fuk up any body who said he would get cancer.

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Yo mama is so fat... she died due to type two diabetes.

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Yo Mama is so dumb, that she scored significantly below average on the SAT's.

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I love pissing people off :P

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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Why didn't the blonde finish her book? She died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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