- Anti Joke

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

Roses are red Viloets are unicorns this? doesn't make sense Refridgeator

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

When A Shouty Man Goes Into His House. His Sister Nearly Kills Him So When A Shouty Man Goes Into A Library. The Books Try To Kill Him.

What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

What did the guy day to the other guy with an afro on his head? You look like a guy with an afro on his head.

What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

What did the blondes left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they haven't met yet.

What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

Dick Cheney That's the joke

What's the meaning of life? I don't know.

Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

Knock knock! Who's there? Wristwatch! Wristwatch who? Orange ya glad I didn't say banana

What happened to the blind boy? He went deaf.. helen kellered....

Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.