:)I will always assist you in whatever you ever want. :(I want to kill you!

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One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

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what do you call an elephant crossing a fish? a elephant fish

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wristwatch! Wristwatch who? Orange ya glad I didn't say banana

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies? two piles of dead babies.

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V I T A M I N C !

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hard cheese

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Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

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How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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A: What is faster than a speeding bullet? B: Light

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"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw them

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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What is the difference between a white man and black man who are facing each other? They have different rights.

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Why couldn't the black guy vote? He was only 17.

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womens rights

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

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kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

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Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

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What's the meaning of life? I don't know.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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