why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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Tucker Rivera

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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A priest, a pedophile, and a child rapist walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

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When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

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what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

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What is your bill about? Clinton

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"Seriosly" You got a life buddy? Are you okay? Cant you see that I am totally rocking out on my imaginary air guitar which is now inside your mind? No you are not okay! Moral: YOU ARE NOT OKAY SPREAD THE WORD! INFORM THE WORLD! YOU ARE NOT OKAY! Moral2nd: "Seriously" though dawg, you cant keep watching over me all the time, I mean you I smell the hypocrisy, but are you guys AAAALWAYS HERE? DO NOT REPLY! WE REPEAT, DO NOT REPLY!rq

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

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BOTTOM!!!

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what's wrong on so many levels? wrong wrong wrong wrong

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?"

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roses are red violets are red everything is red who set my house on fire

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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What happened to the soldier who go shot while fighting terrorists in the middle east? He died and had a proper funeral back in the town/city that he was born in.

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Decode this; Hetay owcay aidsay oomay. Answer: ummmmm.... Let me think....ummm, does anybody speak pig latin?

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What's the difference between a boodle and a scoodle? Ladoodle!

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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What's funnier then the holocaust? A second one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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