A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

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What do you call a Black Priest? His title would probably be Reverend, and then his last name after it.

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What do you call a man who has a camera? a cameraman

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Chris Bosh's neck

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why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

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what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

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A midget walked under a bar.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? A: Cancer

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Jack and jill Went up the hill To go smoke Some marijuana Jack got high Unzipped his fly And asked jill "Do you wanna?" Jill sais "yes" Pulled up her dress And things got real fun But silly jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One turns to the other and says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other one replies, "OMG, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

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Why did the cat die? Johnny put in the microwave.

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What do you callan african american in KFC? A had working american with a average profit, trying to make a living.

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Why did Julia fall of the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Julia.

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VaginaBoob ^.^

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What do you call a black man with no legs? Crippled.

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What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

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What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

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Q:What's funny about a Jew marrying a Nazi? A:The situation

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What did the runner say after he ran 10 miles? I just ran 10 miles.

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What's black, white, and red all over??? A penguin in a blender.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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John: I just ran over a cat... Just kidding! It was your mum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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