Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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What kind of words did the terrorist say on his date? His last ones.

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Roses are red, Violets at blue. My mind is twisted, Bend over bitch your about to get fisted.

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If i was a painting... Id hang myself

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

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Your mom is so fat... That you inherited type one diabetes.

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Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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What's the difference between a Lamborgini and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

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Why did the kid trip over the rock? Because he was diagnosed with serious autism, and might die soon.

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Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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whats black and white and red all over????? a zebra who got shot

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lays on it's back? A school bus after a traffic accident

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Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

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what rhymes with ham and bread? girl, make me a sandwich

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What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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Alex Gedrose.

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Why does it take women to cum slower than men? Who cares

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What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber? You're da bomb!

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops