Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? You poke-er--face....pokerface.

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What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

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dassa

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Yock

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What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

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It's porn, we all knew that, do you have something interesting to say?

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When life gives you cancer, make cancerade.

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What do you call a Black man with AIDS? Unfortunate.

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Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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how do you kill a rat skin it and feed it to your child and wait till it shits then when it shits feed it to your dog then when it shits then microwave it and shove the smelly liquid remains up your ass.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't. It's dead.

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Jackie Chan: Who the **** is chuck Testa? A: Chuck Testa was an internet sensation who became famous after his video on Youtube advertising his taxidermy business, Ojai Valley Taxidermy.

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Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

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Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

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Why was the African Americanfemale at an abortion clinic? Because she just killed a child.

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Why did the man cross the street? Because no cars were coming and he wanted to get to the othher side

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A father was driving with his son. The Son asked " have you been in a car accident in the past 10 years"? The father replys " did you know you HAD 4 siblings"?

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Who you gonna call? Gobstoppers

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Two nuns are in a bathtub, one nun turns to the other and says "where's the soap". The other nun replies "it does, doesn't it".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops