What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

Why does Courtney smell? she has a severe lack of personal hygiene which needs addressing,

Knock Knock! EXPLOSION!!!!

why did the plane crash because it was 9-11

Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

A teenager decides to stay home instead of go to college. His parents are fine with his choice since he is mentally ill.

How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

Why did the boy fail his math test? Because his Mother threw a refrigerator at him.

I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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