Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

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Penis.

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Your momma is so dumb she has to have weekly tutoring to help understand finding the value of x in an equation.

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Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because it thought that it would somehow increase its chances of survival.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

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What do you call a gathering of Asians? A chinkfest

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Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

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whats green and falls from trees, pool tables.

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What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

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why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

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Bean.

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Why did the man starve to death? Because his wife died

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hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

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Chuck Norris is so strong that he could bench almost 250 pounds in his heyday.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman

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Roses are black, Violets are black, and I'm blind .

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Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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