Roses are red, Violets are violet

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and due to genetics could not see well without the help of glasses.

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Train A leaves the station at 1:42 while traveling in 176kmh. How long will it take for the conductor to realize the bridge it ou... Too long.

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Why did the milk man cry? Cause you killed his family.

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what's a self-driving car 10 years from now? probably just "a car".

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what did the boy with cancer get for christmas? i dont know he's jewish

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was osama bin laden

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What did Jesus say to the giraffe? Good day to you sir.

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Statues: Show what great people look like, if birds shit all over them.

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Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep? Because deep down they are really good people.

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

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Why was there an awkward silence? Because numerous people gathered in a room were not talking.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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LUKE, I am your father... this is your mother, your parents dont love you so we've adopted you

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on the trampoline

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What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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What do you get when you mix C4 with a lit- KABOOM!!!

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Why couldn't John play soccer? Because he was arrested for being black.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What does God say when a balck person is person is borned? "Another burnt one"

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A mexican man killed a black man yesterday. It had nothing to do with his race, he just had a very rough childhood and wasn't taught moral values.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops