My trip to Italia: Italian most: WELCOME TO ITAAAAAAALIA! YOU WANT THE PIZZA YES? Me asking my then Italian girlfriend: Are all Italians so loud? Then girlfriend: Yeah kinda... Her brother overhearing us: WHO! GAVE! YOU THE BALLS! TO JUDGE US! Me: Uh I am just surprised at... Her bro: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS... DONT LOOK AT ME! Me: *looking down at the ground somewhat ashamed* bro: LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! NO! DONT LOOK AT ME! I will let you go for this time yes? Next time I will take you outside and beat you up okay? LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! AND DO NOT LOOK AT ME! Conclusion: Wow you Italians are bad ass... I mean hell this is was a real life experience of mine, I was just a teen back then but I got a headache and threw up ending up in bed later... Fact: I am nearly two meters but walk with a hunch, the guy was half my size but still broke me down, wow Italians are bad ass...

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A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

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your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

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Yo mama is so nasty she won't take a shower till she is dead you idiot says the boy she won't die she has twenty thousand live

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What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby? 10 minutes in the microwave.

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What has 9 arms and sucks? Def lepeord

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Here's another:

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you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

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A priest was driving a motorcycle and was doing these amazing crazy stunts. It turns out they were actually filming a movie.

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Why did Oliver fall? He shot himself.

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If your waiting in a restaurant for a waiter, doesn't that make you a waiter? O.o

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roses are red violets are blue they are pretty and you are not

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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What do babies suck on? juice boxes!

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How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

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wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

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What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

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Why was the crazy person allowed to leave the asylum? The ombusman's report will be on your desk this morning minister.

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Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

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What did the man do when it was raining pineapples? He got a chainsaw and went on a killing spree against his neighbors family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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