How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

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Why did the cat land on it's back.... because its dead .......

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side (The original AntiJoke)

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What time is it? 20:45.

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Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

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Evolution is real. Why? Pikachu evolves.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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a dad farts in the woods nothing else happens

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How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

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Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

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Why was maddison sad Becasue he was born with a fucking gay name

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

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Why wasn't the black man allowed on the golf course? Because a wealthy business man had rented out the entire course for a very important international investor.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

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Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

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What's black and looks like Burnt Popcorn? A black man

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Whats black and white with red all over? A dead panda

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Why did the man not come out of the closet? He wanted to stay in narnia.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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