Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

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if you watched wife-swap years ago, you'll remember that one family that bought anything they could because they didnt have to pay till 12-21-12 because they thought the world would end LOL FUN FAMILY NOW HUH

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A: u wanna die B: that is a stupid question because unless u are suicidal u will not, retorical or not A: i do wanna die B: u should get some help u freak person a never did get help, while walking to a certivied psychiatrict evaluater he got hit by a truck. his body can be found at the intersection of church and flatbush, brooklyn. JK he got shot, he was in brookly, duh.

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a pornstar comes early to a party

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What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

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knock knock who's there ?? the police now get out !!

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knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

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What are the two biggest jokes in College Football? Auburn and Florida! Roll Tide!

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What Do You Call The White House When Obama Is President? What? The White House.

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

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Sarah Palin

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You really need some help in spelling the word GOD... Anyway, none of your fucking business.I am a child for this scenario only so... Moral: LET THAT CHILD ALONE!

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Did you know there is a whole country occupied with twins? It's called China

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street he gets hit by an airplane

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Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

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Q. How do you get a black man out of a tree? A. You get a ladder and help him down

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What do you call an Oliver with friends? A dream

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Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

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If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

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Why did the black man get kicked out of his hotel room? He did't pay and was in debt so they couldn't allow him to stay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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