A very rich man had a son. He was very proud of his son. The son was smart and diligent and did well in school. On the son's 16th birthday, the father went to his son and said "son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you for your 16th birthday." The son, without hesitation, asked his father for 1,000 green golf balls. The father was taken aback. "But son, that's such a strange request! Might I remind you that I'm VERY rich, and I could buy you ANYTHING your heart desires?!" But the son was adamant, and his father, though confused, honored his son's request. Some years later the son graduated from college at the top of his class. His father, once again beaming with pride, came to his son. "Son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you for your college graduation." The son, without hesitation, asked his father for 2,000 green golf balls. The father once again was confused, and a bit angry. "Son, that's a ridiculous request! I'm offering to buy you ANYTHING you want! I'm a very rich man, and almost NOTHING is beyond my requisition! So please, reconsider, and tell me what you REALLY want!" But the son was adamant, and his father, though bewildered and frustrated, honored his son's request. Years later, the son, following in his father's footsteps, was a very successful businessman. He'd married a beautiful wife and borne his father many wonderful grandchildren. One night as they ate dinner in an expensive restaurant, his father said to his son, "son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I am a very rich man and since you have made me so proud I will buy you ANYTHING you ask me to buy you in honor of your fantastic success and wonderful family." Once again without blinking his son asked for 3,000 green golf balls. Enraged, his father slammed his hands on the table and yelled, "WHY MUST YOU MOCK MY GENEROSITY SO?! FINE; YOU'LL HAVE YOUR STUPID GOLF BALLS, BUT YOU HAVE LOST YOURSELF A FATHER!" And so the trade was made; the son's strange request for the animosity of his once-doting father. Several years later, the father and the son not having spoken once since, the father got a call from a hospital informing him that his son had gotten into a terrible car accident and was dying. Forgetting all about his grudge against his son, the father flew down to his son's side in a flash. His son was conscious for the first time in days as his father arrived. "Son, you are the apple of my eye and I'm very proud of you. I'm so sorry for disowning you! I know I never should have! I'm so sorry for the years we've lost! But I must know, son, why did you want all those green golfballs; those wretched orbs that drove us apart?! Surely you had a grand design for them; you're the perfect son and I could not have asked for anything more in the world than you!" His son, on death's door, looked into his father's eyes and said weakly, "well, father, I-" And then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Bison: I just dont feel like having bread for breakfast again Sagat: You want some... Cornflakes? Bison: Ohohoh Ahahaha! Sagat: You like it? Bison: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Balrog: :( What about those tapes I made for you? You want me to...:( Bison: Balrog, shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I'm a boy... I like hamburgers... Xbox is my favorite activity.... I have a dog... My dad is cheap... He's my doctor, my dentist, and my mom... Haha get it?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My friend who's a chef was stabbed by his own kitchen knife, everyone said it would be in bad taste to joke about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two horses are playing in a field, One says to the other "Hey, sup" they then continue playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

It's valentines today! My girlfriend died.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

thumb_up thumb_down -15

After finishing reading this sentence, read it again and you might or might not realise that there is a secret subliminal message in this sentence making you do something later tonight. Can you spot it?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue I like to slap hookers

thumb_up thumb_down -15

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops