A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

A chicken crosses the road as a car comes by. The driver pumps the brakes and stops the car just before hitting the chicken. The chicken crosses the road safely. Onward, my noble steed !

A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

i hate christians and muslims, until drugs are involved. iduno what dat is, i try it.

What's the difference between a duck

Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

How did the little boy get down from the top of the empire state building... He took the elevator

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

What did the Asian store clerk say to the midget? yay penis

What kind of a prediction is THAT?

How do you register on webkinz? You put a rope around a durable shower neck, & then hang yourself with it.

Anders Lungren is a worthless peice of scrub

Yo momma so fat, she's in the hospital dying of morbid obesity. Sorry man.

Knock knock Who's there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ, your lord and savior.

He walked in a bar

What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

How do you make a fireman cry??? Kill His Family

I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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