Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

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Some black guy grabs a white guys wallet. the black guy says " hey I think you dropped this"

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How is pinocchio's nose like a penis? They're nothing alike.

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What did Delaware? A coat.

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

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What does Spiderman do everyday? Aunt May

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants.

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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What's white and hides in a tree. A refrigerator.

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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What killed the dinosaurs? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!!

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A severely beaten and bruised man who was found un conscience and robbed in a dark parking lot behind Dennys at 2 o'clock in the morning.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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Why did the african jump in the swimming pool? Because it was a really hot day and he wanted to cool down

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Tell her something that doesn't make any sense at all.

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What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker

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Why are lizards broke? Because they run around the desert with no money...

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Here is an opposite. Black Santa Claus.

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What do you call a guy who died in a stampede? Grandpa.

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Donald Trump

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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