whats the biggest ever snake found ? i dont know i dont study snakes :O

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The blondes on the opposite part of the lake is a pretty good joke

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how do you beat up 3 year old with ease? you beat her up, 3 years can't fight for shit.

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What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

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What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Fun Fact getting married to your first cousin is legal in CT... bet you thought there was joke coming right about now..........

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

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How do you you know when you haven't slept in a while? You're tired.

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yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

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Two blondes get in a taxi. Who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

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You know what they called Obama in highschool? Nigge*

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Two elephants walk off of cliff.... BOOM BOOM!

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why did the chicken cross the road it was being chased by the man from the chicken slaughter house.

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There once was an X from place B, Who satisfied predicate P, Then X did thing A, In a specified way, Resulting in circumstance C.

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knock, knock... no one replies and it becomes obvious that no one is in the house.

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What happened after the man walked off the cliff? Nothing. It was a foot tall.

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Have you heard about the angry chef? He beat his children

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whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

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They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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What's worse than an explosion? A nuclear explosion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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