What crime does a tree commit in order to be sent to prison? Trees on.

Yo mamas so fat.

why was little bobby sad? he accidentally super-glued Jupiter to his forehead.

Knock knock.. Whos there? To... To who? To whom.

Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

you are a åsshole :)

A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

Why was the fat guy sad? his daughter is slowly dying of anorexia why was the fat guy sad? his daughter was raped by a giant panda bear

Dylan is gay

Q. Knock knock A. Who's there Q. DEEZ A. DEEZ who A. DEEZ NUTZ HA GOT EEEEEM

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Anal

Hey could I ask you a question? Yes Thanks

I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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