What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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There's a car about to hit me.

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The joke below is absolute shit.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

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What did 7 say to 6? I hear you've been spreading stories about me.

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What's bigger then a bowling ball? What? Your mom!

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How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

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Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

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What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

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A black man, a Mexican man, and an Asian man all walked into a bar. They proceeded to have a good time together as they were celebrating their graduation from medical school.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

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A viking walks into a bar, and orders 6 beers. the man working asks "why did you order so many beers?" the viking says"because one for me 6 brothers who were separated from me many years ago." then he leaves. the next morning the viking walks into the bar, and orders 5 beers.the man working says"im sorry for your loss." the viking says"what? oo no im just getting tierd of drinking!'

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Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

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What did the blonde say to the man when he asked her what time it was? 6:34 pm

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bill is either dead or alive. bill is not dead therefore bill is alive

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why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

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Anti jokes gives me cold sores

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Little girl and a pedofile walk into the woods at night. Little girl says, "mr pedofile im scared" pedofile responds " you think your scared? i have to walk out of here alone."

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What did the brick say to the wall? Nothing, as they are both inanimate objects that lack knowledge and the sense to speak.

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Why wasn't the man talking? Because he was sleeping.

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Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

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What did the blind boy get for Christmas? The same toys from last year.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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