What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

What do you call 5 of my friends and 5 of your friends hanging out together? I don't know. I don't have any friends.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

What has legs but can't walk? A paralyzed man.

A tree walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the log face?".

Yo momma's so fat, she had a heart attack and is currently hospitalized.

Jackson gets a new phone he drops it what does he have. (a beating )

What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? I'm not sure, he could not unwrap them.

I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

What do you call a duck In Africa ? Screwed

Zach Barlow

why shouldn't hellen keller drive? because she's a woman

What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

you know what they say about men with big feet... damn you got some big feet.

Why did the kitchen cross the road?

Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

why was 6 afraid of 7 He raped him the other day

Two black men are sitting next to each other on a bench when a woman walks by. The first man says "Damn, that's a nice pair of tits!". The second man said "Yes, she does posses a supple and voluptuous bosom." The cat that was sitting underneath the bench then began cleaning himself.

Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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