whats green and has wings ? a flying patch of astro turf

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Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

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Im going to the patriots jets game this year..... When the kick a feild goal and you see two kids wearing lime green holding up a poster that says BRADY LIKES SAGGY BALLS that will be me and my friend -RT

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whats funny? a relatsion ship for 16 hours

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What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

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Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

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hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

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Knoc nock whos dere ronnie turiaf...... Ronnie turiaf who Dennis rodman

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What's white and sticky? A glue stick.

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

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A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

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Why was the women out of the kitchen? She felt the desire to relax after a day of work...

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A baby gets hit by a bus.

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how do you kill a blonde? shoot her in the face with a pistol

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Roses are red Violets are twisted bend over now your about to get fisted

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I made a sandwich Lol jk, my gf made it for me

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Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

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Man 1: Your lifes a joke Man 2: Your talking to yourself Man 1 klled himself Man 2 had cancer

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Q: Why don't Jewish cannibals like Germans A: Because it gives them gas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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