A woman was at a family reunion and her husband's mother walked in. She has a chocolate allergy so the woman says the her husband,"I need more chocolate!"

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish, just because it has a disability it doesn't mean you can treat it any differently

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A daring man once said "Here goes nothing!" Anddd nothing happened.

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7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday REBECCA BLACK FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because it is a bar for cats only.

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What happened when a Blonde girl and a Ginger man have sex without a condom? The woman gets pregnant and then after about nine months the woman gives birth and the child grows up, when the child is adolescent it is able to reproduce and the process continues again.

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to the doctor he recommend she lose weight or risk high blood pressure and heart attack

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? She had no friends.

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Yo mama's so ugly that the majority of people find her physically unattractive, but I hear her personality if great.

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A hemophiliac walks into a bar. Then he dies of internal bleeding.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had alopecia.

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Why does Ron Weasley have friends? He does't. He's a ginger.

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Knock-Knock The man wasn't home, so there was no answer.

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What do you call a room full of lawyers? A group of legally educated professionals.

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How did the old man keep the kids off his lawn? By molesting their Moms.

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Q. Why did the fat boy cross the road? A. To go on a diet

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Roses are red Violets are blue Clever rhyming punch line refrigerator

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Colby is gay.... thats it

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whats black? a black man

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Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

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What's worse than finding out you have aids? Nothing. Actually I lied. It would suck being an illegal immigrant.

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What's the difference between a plum and bunny? They're both purple, except the bunny.

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why did the girl cross the road? to commit suicide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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