A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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What did a dodo do after his last meal? Become extinct

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was stuck in its coop on the farm. Also, chickens aren't sentient, so they can't reason the same way we do.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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Who can make 50 iPads in 1 hour? An Asian

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Jews... The only funny thing they did was piss off Adolf Hitler

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Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

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What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

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Nickelback ranked number 1 as greatest rock band according to rolling stones magazine!

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What's the difference between a duck, an engineer, and a leaf? There are many differences between these 3 that I will not list them all.

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"What would you do if i gave you a million dollars?" "I would scream and jump up and down? Are you really gonna give me a million dollars?" "No i just wanted to see what you would have said, that's all"

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Why couldn't Helen Keller see or hear? She was blind and deaf.

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A women president

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a 5 year old rapes a pedophile

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Al Kida and Terry Wrist walk out of jail.

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops