What did the dying boy get for Christmas? Presents

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Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

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we sat at the table and began to say graceme my sister, me and my mom we bowed our heads and closed our eyes and said grace we lifted our heads and opend our eyes and the food was gone my mom was gone and the chocolate in my pocket was gone (i wonder who did it lol)

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Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who had an affinity for wicker furniture.

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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What do you call a cow that went through a earth quake? A dead cow.

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Q:How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could would A: 26

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What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

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Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I pushed him????????

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why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it tried but was hit by a truck at the halfway point.

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There are too many 20 year olds getting pregnant. Teenage pregnancy is ruining our society!

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Do you wanna hear a Ebola joke? You probably won't get it

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A man walked into a bar There were some other people there too

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Q: How do all 5 gay guys walk? A: In One Direction

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why do you care?

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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what happens when 15 babies cross the street? well, some may be hit by cars. others will have to face the harsh life of reality.

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what do you get when you throw a refrigerator at a boy on a bike? a severely injured boy, a lawsuit , a police record and a prison mate

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and deaf, and to put her behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle would be extremely dangerous.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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