How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

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"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

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Knock knock Who's there? A very long space I see what you did there

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Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

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Knock,knock whose there? The pizza delivery guy the pizza delivery guy who the pizza delivery guy who didnt give you your pizza

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Q:What do you call a bird with wings? A:A bird -Ryan Vallee

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ginger

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What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

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why do i want to get raped because then its not rape

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it hit a poll and died of brain damage the next day

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What do you call a Jewish wanna be gangster? Drake

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A man walks up to a gay guy and says "you are socially accepted"

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, your Heart maybe splited into two but, if you love me i would fix it for you

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Q: What do you call 10 black people in the ocean? A: A family having a good time on an exciting scuba diving tour.

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how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

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Q: What's worse than dropping your phone in water? A: Throwing water at your phone.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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what is worse the Holocaust or slavery? patantan!

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Why did Captain Hook die? He wiped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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