what's faster than an asian on a bicylce on payday? many things

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down

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How did the kid drop his ice he got hit by a train Griffin Cholette

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Whats the difference between an elephant and a tomato. You put tomatos in a salad.

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Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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how many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? well it depends on the size of the bathtub - and the size of the babies, for sure.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

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What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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Ask me if i am a tree are you a tree? no

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Doorbell salesman.

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what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

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what is long, black and looks like a curly-hair? A curly-hair

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson molested boys.

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Why did the man eat his hat? Autism.

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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Penis.

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24!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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