What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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A man finds an old lamp, rubs it, and releases the genie trapped inside. The genie grants him three wishes. So the man wishes for a million more wishes and uses them all wisely,

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what happens when you jump of a cliff usually you die

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Why did little jennifer shit herself? Because she fell over.

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Ask me if I am a truck. Are you a truck? No.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Being Killed

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a hard working man goes home after a long day at work to find that his wife left him for his even harder working father.

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What's green and has wheels? A snow flake. I lied about the wheels, and the color.

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I dumped this chick who was cross eyed. I thought she was seeing other people.

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What's white and looks like a refrigerator? A baseball

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3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

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What do you call a homeless person with a dog? An animal lover.

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We can beat the holocaust joke as the most liked joke, Please participate with my campaign and like the joke. I really need some attention

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Why did sally fall of the swing? SHE HAD NO ARMS!

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What did the prostitute eat for lunch? Nothing because she was too busy performing oral sex for money.

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zebras

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What happened when the black guy looked up his family tree? He discovered long-forgotten relatives who had lived during difficult times for African-Americans in the United States and faced disenfranchisement, extrajudicial killings, and chattel slavery. His sense of racial consciousness and solidarity was thereby reinforced.

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A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

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how do u get a nun pregnant? dress her up as an alter boy

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A man walks into a bar and sees a jar filled with money. He asks the bartender, "What`s all this money for?" The bartender replies, "It`s Breast Cancer Awareness month and we are collecting donations." The man puts in $5, and continues on with his night.

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A pussy walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bar keeper asks " why are you such a pussy!" The pussy then says, "it's not my fault I'm a cat!" before getting run over

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Why did the man die from drinking the water? It wasn't water, it was acid.

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Why did the blonde drown in the bathtub? Her father repeatedly molested her and beat her mother, she no longer wanted to live in such a life and promptly committed suicide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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