What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Goon Bear+Homo= Corey Jacobs True Story

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Osama Bin Laden dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven shot up his school and ate nine kids. Also before he was arrested he told six he was going to blow his brains out. Then he murdered the police and has been on the run ever since.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The Economy

thumb_up thumb_down +5

your mom is so gay that...wrong, a homosexual women is considered a lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +5

knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops