How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

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Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

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your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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What do you call all of the skin around the vagina? a women

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Baseball

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2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

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Wanna hear a good joke? I don't.

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How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Well hell I don't know I thought you might.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

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Why did the dog bark? Who knows, dogs bark for many reasons unknown to humans.

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What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Justin Bieber

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops