Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

"luke Bastiaan" "So, whens your period?"

What is samios' favorite position? ;) Full back... In the bum.

A man and a chicken walk into a bar... I forgot the rest of the joke .... YOUR MUMS A WHORE

What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

Do you want to hear a joke? Well, I do too.

Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

Why did the baby cross the street. Because he was attached to the chicken.

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

What was the pirate's favorite letter? Q.

Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

stuff and dogs {()}

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...