You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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Yo mamma so fat that she was chosen to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser and we are all so proud of the amount of weight she has lost.

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Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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what do rappers cover? ->CANDY CREDITS: ANUJ NARAYAN VARMA from Leland high school

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

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So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

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What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

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Knock knock, Knock knock jokes aren't funny.

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So dont touch it

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How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

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Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

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- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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Icecream

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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