Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

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What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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womens rights!

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Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

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Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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Why was the black man sad? People were frequently talking and whispering about his dark colouring behind his back. Also he had no legs.

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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where's waldo? in a picture book.

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? Different skin color.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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