A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

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I walked into a dark ally at night and ran into 2 black men They severely beat me then while unconscious brutally raped me. I then spent 5 weeks in the hospital in a deep coma.

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person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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a man walks into a bar.......ouch

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Q: Why did the cat roll down the hill? A: It had no legs

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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Any idea of his whereabouts Nero? I am the leader, I fund this myself, as you know money is not my problem, its rather loyalty.

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jack shine has boobs

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Who flexes triceps more than anyone? James

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

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Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

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Why do blacks have a little white on their hands? God has always said that everybody has a little good in them.

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What is black and white and green and red and purple and orange and magenta and brown and yellow all at the same time? Can you tell me? Cause I've got no clue.

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Why was the plumber very sad Because i killed his family

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if u dislike this u r most likely depressed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops