how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Sea World Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a black guy leaves prison

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why are Jews so tight with there money? They want to be finanically stable and provide a future for their familys.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +20

roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +20

One Big Ass Mistake America

thumb_up thumb_down +20

W.N.B.A.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Pianca going ham

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops