How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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silver bullet?

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whats the difference between a black rapist and a white rapist? the black rapist is black

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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Non-Anti-Joke.com!

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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What's short, ruthless, and asian? Kim Jong Ill

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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