Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

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A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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what's up? my penis.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

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What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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hello what is this crazy nonsense site sl

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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How do you kill a dead baby? You can't, it's already dead.

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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Q: What is black and can't support a family? A: A bowling ball

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Why did the boy stop working on a farm? His country became more economically developed.

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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What's scarier than a ghost? Ur mum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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