what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -10

two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops