A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops