A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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i saw amango it splootered

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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