There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

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Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

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Dollar ice tea... I drink that Supa hot fire... i spit that Two and a half men................... I watch that

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops