What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

In soviet Russia...things are different

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

How old are you? 7

what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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