Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I had a dream I watched Inception.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

roses are black violets are black your going to die with hate and sorrow

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a bunch of black people in a red car.... A jaffa

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The mets are 3-0 this season

thumb_up thumb_down -1

potato

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the man die? he got shot

thumb_up thumb_down -3

nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops