Why did the man walk up to a bank teller with a gun? He is the security guard; he wanted to ask her for financial advice.

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators are whitWhen falling from trees, they kill you

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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What do you get when you write your own anti-joke? Herpes.

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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