Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

What's blue? The sky.

Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

What goes in and out of a hole? A Rabbit you people have dirty minds!

why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

Q:what did the Aardvark say to the other Aardvark. A: nothing because Aardvark do not have the mental capacity to carry out basic conversations

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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